"Show your edits"

...except I can't.

The way I've taught myself to edit is a pretty strict as-I-go. The first draft is always hand-written, and the second one is typed directly from the hand-written copy with obvious minor-and-major edits to the structure.
After that, it's chaos.

I generally yell at myself as I'm writing, placing those comment's and misunderstandings in bold that look something like;
Stop being such a tosser. There is no connectivity from the reader to blah, blah, blah
The thing is that I delete these things because the moment I write one I am stuck on that segment until I get it right enough for me to continue on. Of course I go back later and edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, except all those other edits are performed in minor, very distant spaces of time.

You said in class to just print out frequently if we are Go-Editers, except I am having trouble doing that because for one, I don't want you/anyone to see the little comments I make to myself and Two, by printing out the little comments I am making to myself I feel this little audience-demon floating beside me that is essentially fabricating, and ruining, my potentially positive edits.



I am actually very stuck on this. I have no older edits of stories past to offer and, although it may seem easy for me to just write a new story and provide the edits, it isn't, solely because of the last paragraph.

So... if you see this, could you please let me know if there is anyway to go around this little assignment? It's severely stunting every creative thing for me at the moment.