Re-done Carver Mimic

Turns out I couldn't sleep thinking that I'd be handing in the piece of garbage I wrote earlier. So now, it's six am and I have school in two hours and I just finished my new story.
I ponder that you, professor, will look at this blog in regards to why I wrote something so obviously dark and crude, so I'll explain.

The story I wrote before this one was garbage, literally plotless. I didn't like it, so I reread the Carver story and called a friend to come walk with me. I understand that the Carver story isn't supposed to be "dark," except I couldn't get over the part where the girl takes a hit of weed. She takes one hit, and that's all. I believe that she doesn't even like pot, but smokes it because her mate does, which is terrifically sad. Because of that, I started thinking of all the strange submissive habits people whom are together do for each other.
I walked to a bridge with my friend and, being there, started to think of another story. I was rather infatuated with the water and liked the idea of using dark, colorless water via minimalist style so the bridge next to Marina Grill is the early setting for my story. I originally thought the story would be about murder, about throwing somebody off a bridge, but decided against it. The person I was with is someone potentially interested in me, and I to them. Except, the former is in actual, intimate interest, while mine is something primitive. I don't enact upon it, because I understand it's wrong and there is no neutrality in regards to actions such as the one I desired.
Because of that thought, and the one I got from "Cathedral," I thought of rape between lovers, between married couples. It seemed strange, and the action of it something unacknowledgable and quite different.
So I wrote it as so. I know it's partially crude, and far more negative than Carver's story, except that's what I came up with. I did my best to match his narrative style and that's about it.

Trust me, it's better than the story previous to it.